Living with Infertility

Wanting, hoping waiting,
Loving, longing, knowing,
Feeling the loss before I could lose you.
Never seeing, touching or smelling.
Dreaming, aching, crying.
Losing the hope and joy,
Of Motherhood.


Thursday, February 24, 2011


So, I have to admit, I am stressing out a little here. March is in less than a week and I am not sure how I am going to really do this...3 kids? I am wondering if any of you have some good advice when it comes to having 3 small children, one of them being a newborn. I don't have any family close, relying on family is out. I have a few really nice neighbors, but they all have their own families to take care of and it is really hard to call on anyone else but family in my mind. My mom will be coming for just a few days when i have the baby to help, but she works for the school district and can't get very much time off. Flavio will stay home as long as he can as well, but his position is such that he can't be away too long.... Now I am not trying to have a pity party, although some days I do, but I will really be on my own soon after having this baby and want to know how to handle 3 in such a way that I don't turn into a crazy, scary mommy :)

Please let me know your thoughts.

Lots of love,

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


It is amazing how time becomes a bullet train when you are trying to get so much done! We are so excited for this little girl to come and I cannot believe how fast the time is flying! I went to the doctor yesterday (I am at my every two week appointments now) and our little Eva has already turned! Meaning, her head is down and she is getting ready to come out :) We are scheduled to be induced on March 31st! It is funny, Flavio is so nervous for me. He is always asking if I am scared about having Eva...going through the delivery and labor and such. I'm not. I feel pretty excited actually. I know there are a plethora of things that could go wrong, but I feel more excited than scared. He says he would be crying already and would want the doctor to just knock him out for the whole thing :) Honestly, I am not one who wants to feel the whole thing, so I will be getting an epidural as soon as possible, but having Hannah was amazing and I can't wait to hold this little bundle of joy in my arms!