Living with Infertility

Wanting, hoping waiting,
Loving, longing, knowing,
Feeling the loss before I could lose you.
Never seeing, touching or smelling.
Dreaming, aching, crying.
Losing the hope and joy,
Of Motherhood.


Tuesday, April 19, 2011

And here she is...

Here is the beautiful result of our infertility journey! Thank you so much for all your love and prayers! We have been blessed!

Our little Eva Gloria Martins. Born March 31, 2011! She is a perfect fit in our little family!

Lots and lots of love!


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Here they are...

I was able to set up my camera on my tri-pod and have Flavio help with the pushing of the button :) They turned out cute I think.

Two more weeks to go! Yay!



Thursday, February 24, 2011


So, I have to admit, I am stressing out a little here. March is in less than a week and I am not sure how I am going to really do this...3 kids? I am wondering if any of you have some good advice when it comes to having 3 small children, one of them being a newborn. I don't have any family close, relying on family is out. I have a few really nice neighbors, but they all have their own families to take care of and it is really hard to call on anyone else but family in my mind. My mom will be coming for just a few days when i have the baby to help, but she works for the school district and can't get very much time off. Flavio will stay home as long as he can as well, but his position is such that he can't be away too long.... Now I am not trying to have a pity party, although some days I do, but I will really be on my own soon after having this baby and want to know how to handle 3 in such a way that I don't turn into a crazy, scary mommy :)

Please let me know your thoughts.

Lots of love,

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


It is amazing how time becomes a bullet train when you are trying to get so much done! We are so excited for this little girl to come and I cannot believe how fast the time is flying! I went to the doctor yesterday (I am at my every two week appointments now) and our little Eva has already turned! Meaning, her head is down and she is getting ready to come out :) We are scheduled to be induced on March 31st! It is funny, Flavio is so nervous for me. He is always asking if I am scared about having Eva...going through the delivery and labor and such. I'm not. I feel pretty excited actually. I know there are a plethora of things that could go wrong, but I feel more excited than scared. He says he would be crying already and would want the doctor to just knock him out for the whole thing :) Honestly, I am not one who wants to feel the whole thing, so I will be getting an epidural as soon as possible, but having Hannah was amazing and I can't wait to hold this little bundle of joy in my arms!



Friday, January 28, 2011

Belly time

So, as my pregnancy has continued to progress, I am once again amazed at how a woman's body is able to grow a human being. It is amazing that our internal organs are able to get squeezed and moved and logged into areas that I know are not natural (at least they don't feel natural). Yet, our little babies are able to snuggle themselves right into our middle area and live for a full 9 months! It is truly a miracle and I feel so blessed that I have been able to experience this transformation at least one more time in this life. As uncomfortable as I am getting...there is nothing more amazing than feeling my baby girl move and grow inside of me. I love her so much already and in only 9 short weeks, I will have her in my arms! Hooray! I am now 30 weeks pregnant! And this is what 30 weeks looks like...

I do plan on doing some "real" maternity pics...It is just a little tricky when I am doing them myself. So more to come! As I grow and grow and grow....

Monday, January 24, 2011

Taking things for granted...

Now, I know this may sound like I am going to get all mushy and sentimental...because I do tend to take many of my blessing for granted. However, right now I am suffering with a head-cold. My head hurts, my nose is a permanent drain (where does all that stuff come from anyway?) and my throat is all itchy and dry. Which brings me to my title: the one thing I wish I could do right now and that I know I take for granted when I am not pregnant, is take some REAL medicine that would knock me out and dry my nose up.

But alas, I cannot. So I am stuck trying all the "natural" remedies and blowing my nose until it is raw.

However, I will admit, the reason I can't take the medicine is totally worth it. :)



P.S. Does anyone want to see belly pictures? Or is that just weird?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Not sure...

...If anyone is still listening, but I thought I would write a few words. I am 29 1/2 weeks pregnant! That is almost 7 months pregnant. I will be starting my 8th month next week! The last few weeks have been filled with sleepless nights, lots of eating and a big, growing belly :)

I have also had the urge to purge. I am tackling one closet and drawer at a time...Flavio helping along the way. I hope to have gone through, thrown away and given up everything that I haven't used, seen or missed for over a year. It is such an emotional cleansing.

Hope everyone is well and that you are having a wonderful New Year.