Living with Infertility

Wanting, hoping waiting,
Loving, longing, knowing,
Feeling the loss before I could lose you.
Never seeing, touching or smelling.
Dreaming, aching, crying.
Losing the hope and joy,
Of Motherhood.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

How many?

First of all, I want to thank all of you for your love and concern for us during this crazy but amazing time. Until I got the call, I wasn't totally sure if we were going to get good news. 3 out of the 5 times we have done this, the news has been bad. For some reason, that "negative" just kept popping up in my head. It was a very scary wait.

So, I went in on Sunday morning to get my blood drawn. They give you a specific day and our day happened to be Sunday, August 1st. We didn't tell anyone what day it was, as we wanted to have some element of surprise. Anyway, so after coming back from U of U, we got ready for church. I wasn't sure what we were going to do if they called us at church. I am not a fan of phones in church, but I figured this was one time it would be okay. The U had both of our cell numbers, so we were covered. We put out phones on vibrate and off to church we went.

As we sat, keeping Hannah and Lia entertained, I had my phone under my leg so I wouldn't miss the call. We sang, we had a prayer. The Bishop gave his announcements. And then there was a baby blessing. As the father prayed for his little baby boy, I started to cry and then I felt a weird vibration under my leg..."oh, no" I thought, "what do I do?" Then the vibration stopped. The father was still praying when my husband all of a sudden got up and left. This was it. I sat there frozen, not sure what to do. Then Flavio came back in, I couldn't read his face...was it good news or bad? He then said, "they want to talk to you". So I got up and hurried out of the chapel. The nurse on the other end said, "Hi, how are doing?"... "We have some news for you." This for some reason seemed bad. Her voice wasn't happy, my heart sank and I waited. Then she said, "It is positive! You are pregnant!" I just stood, not really sure what to say. So I started to cry. By then Flavio and the girls were there with me and we were all able to celebrate together in the house of my Lord. What a blessing it was that we could be in such a place as that. I was able to feel of the Spirit and know that my Father in Heaven was with us.

Now we get to wait to see how many babies we are going to have. We won't have anymore than two, as only two embryos were implanted. I will be getting this viability scan in two weeks, that will make me 6 weeks along. Yes, I am only about 4 weeks sure makes for a long pregnancy when you know so early. But we are super excited and can't wait to see those little heart beats or heart beat.

We will keep you posted.

Thank you again for all your love and for all of your prayers.




  1. Is it bad that I'm hoping for 2?!?!? :D

    We're so happy for you guys!

  2. Yes, a way it is ;) Unless you want to become our nanny ;) LOL

  3. Oh Nikki thanks so much for sharing these experiences with all of us. I am sitting here crying my eyes out feeling only a glimps I am sure of what it felt like for you guys when you heard the news!

  4. Niki! I am so happy for you!! What a wonderful experience to find out in church! Especially during a baby blessing! It gave me the chills. It does make for a LONG pregnancy when you know so early but well worth it.

  5. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS!!!!! I remeber our "it's positive" call like it was yesterday! What an amazing feeling, huh?!?

    I can't wait to see how many are in there! It seems like you mention plural words in your posts quite a bit...maybe you know something by mother's intuition and just haven't yet come to grips with it. I was positive we were having twins and so when the dr. said there were two, I didn't even flinch. He wondered why and even asked but I wasn't about to try and explain it.

    You guys are so awesome and I'm so happy that this has worked out for you! You are an amazing family. It couldn't have happened to two better people. :)

  6. What wonderful news :) We are SO happy for you :)

  7. Thank you for sharing such a tender moment at that. In my minds eye I could see the whole scene. AWESOME!! I think one of them is a boy! It was a baby boy being blessed wasn't it? :) It must be his mission buddy from heaven!!

  8. What a wonderful story and wonderful place and time to have that happen! I'm so happy for you guys! Let me know if you start feeling like screaming and running out of the house....bring the kids over and go home and take a nap!