Living with Infertility

Wanting, hoping waiting,
Loving, longing, knowing,
Feeling the loss before I could lose you.
Never seeing, touching or smelling.
Dreaming, aching, crying.
Losing the hope and joy,
Of Motherhood.


Saturday, July 24, 2010

I am back...almost

So, today marks the 4th day after the embryo transfer. I have been sitting or lying around since Tuesday after the transfer.... I have to admit, I hate the lying around. It is very boring. My sweet mother-in-law came over to help with the girls, so that has been wonderful...but it is harder than you might think to just sit there when you feel fine. I feel for all those who have to stay on bed rest for weeks or months at a time.

Now, just as Flavio stated, we are just waiting. I keep hoping for some sign from my body. I can't remember whether I felt something different when we got pregnant with Hannah. I do feel completely exhausted...I can't get enough sleep. But other than that I feel normal. I wish so bad that it was an automatic sensation of knowing these precious embryos attached. But, for whatever reason nature has entended...we have to wait. We will go in some time in the next 2 weeks to find out. I thought this time would be easier, but it isn't. I am really for the most part consumed by what is happening and I am just as anxious as any of the other times before.

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is, I thought that it would get easier...but it hasn't been. I am just as anxious for this baby as I was for when we were trying for Hannah and when we were waiting for Lia.

Thank you everyone for all your love and prayers. We will let you know as soon as we find out. Until then, I am going to try to stay very busy to help the time go by faster...let me know if you want to play, hang out and do something fun.




  1. I wish we were closer! I'll try and think of some fun stuff for you to do!

  2. Yeah, bed rest is never as cool as it sounds. After, like, the first day, you have already done everything that you think, "If I didn't have anything to do and just had to lie around all day, I would do ______". Plus, any time you have a REASON to be on bedrest, there is also that emotional concern on your mind for whatever situation you are in, and it doesn't make for a very restful, peaceful time. Glad your down time is over. Still thinking good thoughts for you and a quick couple of weeks!